Friday, 9 November 2007

To my darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.XXX
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BE SURE AND SCROLL PAST THE PICTURE

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P.S. Your girlfriend called.

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Naughty, but fun!

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Monday, 5 November 2007

Winter Warmers

Pasta Al Forno

This is a hearty meal that needs no accompaniment other than maybe some nice crusty bread! My sons and their friends ask me for this once a week at least. I will assume that anyone reading this will have a basic grasps of cookery, however, if you need clarification or indeed if you have any comments, please comment below and I will respond asap.
Cook up about a pound or so (approx 500g) of minced beef (or quorn if you prefer) until nicely browned. I do not find it necessary to add any fat at this stage as the meat can cook in it's own juices, but the choice is yours.
Once browned, add a tin of chopped tomatoes, two desert spoons of tomato puree, half a teaspoon of mixed herbs, salt, pepper, a couple of red oxo cubes and a couple of green oxo cubes. Cook for a further five minutes or so, stirring to ensure the flavours mix. Leave to keep warm on a very low heat.
Cook up a large saucepan of pasta (any shape and size will do) in slightly salted water. A small dollop of butter in the pan will add to the flavour and help to avoid the pasta sticking.
While the pasta is cooking, make up about a pint and a half (approx a litre) of cheese sauce. You can make your own, or for speed you can heat up a bottle of Dolmio's white sauce for Lasagna on a low heat and add grated cheese to your taste. Cook slowly, stirring all the while until all the cheese melts and the mixture is smooth and glossy.
Now take a large (you may need two) baking dish with deep sides. (A large casserole dish will do if you prefer.)
Firstly, spoon the mince mixture into the dish. This forms the bottom layer. On top of that pour a large can of black eye beans (drained and washed first), followed by a layer of sliced mushrooms and a layer of sliced mixed red, yellow and green peppers. Lastly place the cooked, rinsed pasta on the top and level out.
The final stage is to pour on the cheese sauce, very carefully over the whole of the dish to completely cover. You can top with a little grated cheese if you like and then place in the oven on about 200-210c about 5-6 gas and bake for approximately half an hour or so until the top is slightly browned.
This meal is delicious for cold evenings and can be re-heated in the microwave successfully the following day.
Give it a go, I hope your family enjoys it as much as mine do.
Tip: My sons are fussy and don't like all the ingredients I do, so I usually prepare this in three separate dishes and leave out what they don't like in theirs. Warning: This will make a very large meal, so if you are cooking for one or two, reduce the quantities by half. This meal can safely be frozen; defrost thoroughly though before re-heating.

Always in my heart

It comes from nowhere, hijacks my mind
 A mischievous spark of the crafty kind 
That slams into me like a bolt from behind 
Slightly distorted with rose coloured age 
It grabs at my soul and returns my heart to a distant page 
Flashes of laughter on soft focused faces 
Dance into my head from long hidden places 
Filling up all the ignored empty spaces 
With a warmth the equal of any sun 
It sooths my soul And recalls my heart to fun 
Snatches of soft breath setting skin shivering 
Secrets of my mind deliciously floating 
Memories of taste and touch re-awakening 
Tender as the wings of a dove 
It frees my soul and reminds my heart of love

I miss you Stephen; I always will....... (in memorium)

A little bit of Heaven on Earth

I have recently returned from Kinloch Rannoch, having spent a delightful week with my sons, my brother and his wife and three very good frie...