To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.XXX

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BE SURE AND SCROLL PAST THE PICTURE

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P.S. Your girlfriend called.

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Naughty, but fun!

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Winter Warmers

Pasta Al Forno

This is a hearty meal that needs no accompaniment other than maybe some nice crusty bread! My sons and their friends ask me for this once a week at least. I will assume that anyone reading this will have a basic grasps of cookery, however, if you need clarification or indeed if you have any comments, please comment below and I will respond asap.

Cook up about a pound or so (approx 500g) of minced beef (or quorn if you prefer) until nicely browned. I do not find it necessary to add any fat at this stage as the meat can cook in it's own juices, but the choice is yours.

Once browned, add a tin of chopped tomatoes, two desert spoons of tomato puree, half a teaspoon of mixed herbs, salt, pepper, a couple of red oxo cubes and a couple of green oxo cubes. Cook for a further five minutes or so, stirring to ensure the flavours mix. Leave to keep warm on a very low heat.

Cook up a large saucepan of pasta (any shape and size will do) in slightly salted water. A small dollop of butter in the pan will add to the flavour and help to avoid the pasta sticking.

While the pasta is cooking, make up about a pint and a half (approx a litre) of cheese sauce. You can make your own, or for speed you can heat up a bottle of Dolmio's white sauce for Lasagna on a low heat and add grated cheese to your taste. Cook slowly, stirring all the while until all the cheese melts and the mixture is smooth and glossy.

Now take a large (you may need two) baking dish with deep sides. (A large casserole dish will do if you prefer.)

Firstly, spoon the mince mixture into the dish. This forms the bottom layer. On top of that pour a large can of black eye beans (drained and washed first), followed by a layer of sliced mushrooms and a layer of sliced mixed red, yellow and green peppers. Lastly place the cooked, rinsed pasta on the top and level out.

The final stage is to pour on the cheese sauce, very carefully over the whole of the dish to completely cover. You can top with a little grated cheese if you like and then place in the oven on about 200-210c about 5-6 gas and bake for approximately half an hour or so until the top is slightly browned.

This meal is delicious for cold evenings and can be re-heated in the microwave successfully the following day.

Give it a go, I hope your family enjoys it as much as mine do.

Tip: My sons are fussy and don't like all the ingredients I do, so I usually prepare this in three separate dishes and leave out what they don't like in theirs. Warning: This will make a very large meal, so if you are cooking for one or two, reduce the quantities by half. This meal can safely be frozen; defrost thoroughly though before re-heating.

Always in my heart

It comes from nowhere, hijacks my mind

 A mischievous spark of the crafty kind 

That slams into me like a bolt from behind 

Slightly distorted with rose coloured age 

It grabs at my soul and returns my heart to a distant page 

Flashes of laughter on soft focused faces 

Dance into my head from long hidden places 

Filling up all the ignored empty spaces 

With a warmth the equal of any sun 

It sooths my soul And recalls my heart to fun 

Snatches of soft breath setting skin shivering 

Secrets of my mind deliciously floating 

Memories of taste and touch re-awakening 

Tender as the wings of a dove 

It frees my soul and reminds my heart of love

I miss you Stephen; I always will....... (in memorium)

Funny old life.

Been a bit 'off' lately; out of sorts, you know? My most favourite lady, Desri (my Dad's sister) has flown back to the states after an all too brief visit and I miss her terribly. I was feeling particularly blue early this week and logged onto Virgin Radio as I do daily to listen to the best music on the airways. This time though I made a rare blog entry and begged a cyber-hug. The response from the interactive community was surprisingly friendly and I found my day turned around. By the end of the week I have made a number of new friends and have had fun reading the various shouts and blogs entered by this happy band of fellow music lovers. C0-incidentally later in the week I won a radio from Virgin via a request on one of the shows. On the other hand, during the week my old Pa was told he need another op, his 26th in his ongoing fight with Cancer. He takes it in his stride as always and is ever the life and soul, full of laughter. He's had me in stitches this week with his quirky sense of fun. All in all then, a bit of an up and down week, but on the whole the blessings outweigh the sorrows; we have each other and our friends and we make new friends all the time. Here's to a good week Pa, life a funny old thing eh?

Question?

Can anyone explain why the woman tennis coach found guilty of seducing a thirteen year old girl is constantly referred to in the media as a Lesbian. Surely the proper epithet should be Pedophile?

Music sharing

I just read an article where a Minnesota woman found guilty of file sharing was fined a massive $222,000. This fine was for sharing 24 songs over the internet. Is it just me or is that a bit excessive. I am not discussing the fact of what she did, you will have your own opinion's on that, but I am concerned . It doesn't seem just to me that a person should have to sell her home to pay a fine levied for no worse an action than lending your cd to a few mates. To quote from the article posted by Declan McCullagh in his blog 'The Iconoclast' .....

"Walter Block, an economics professor at Loyola University, is no fan of copyright law at all. (He'd abolish it.) But his suggested penalties for physical larceny are worth taking into account. "My view is two teeth for a tooth, plus expenses, plus cost of capturing, plus a scaring penalty" that would provide additional deterrence and avoid allowing the wealthy to flout the law, ..." . In other words, let the punishment fit the crime."

A view I agree with.

Rather out than in?

The names of my friend and I have been changed to protect our reputations!

Doris and Mavis had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when Mavis looked at Doris and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Doris glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Happy 'Not Mother's Day'

The other day, my youngest son bought me some flowers. A couple of weeks earlier, my eldest son bought me Lemmings for my pc. Neither item was expensive and were given to me without much fuss and palaver, but with a hug and a kiss and with love. I love both of my gifts; the flowers are a joy to look at and the game is utter hilarity, but why I love them more is because they were given randomly. Not for Mother's Day, my birthday, Christmas or any other special reason, just bought for me because they thought of me and knew these items would make me happy.

I know that when the afore-mentioned special occaisions arrive, both my sons will ask me what gift I would like, where I would like to go to celebrate etc. and I thank the Gods for their thoughtfulness, but a random gift, costing no more that a couple of quid means more to me than a costly one bought for (mostly) commercial reasons. Nobody reminded them, there were no posters telling them not to forget to spend their hard earned money on ridiculously priced cards and expensive presents, they bought them because they just knew they would make me happy.

Such simplicity is precious and more valuable than Gold.